Parts of a Woman
Some men, despite having lots of sexual experience, still don’t know the technical names of what they’re touching. They call them tits, hooters, sweater stretchers … lung protectors? They call them nips, tit toppers, hooter hats … fried eggs? They call it a pussy, a beaver, a muff … a taco? I’ve heard many creative names. Slang isn’t hard to come by, but what are the female body parts really called?
My man was crouching down, grabbing something from a cabinet low to the ground, and I playfully straddled his back. He asked me, jokingly, why I was rubbing my pussy on him. I said, “Those are my thighs you feel, not my vulva.” He said, “Your Volvo?”
Before I get into what the specific parts of a woman are called, let me be up front and say I realize how medical it all sounds. I once called a guy’s manhood a “penis” while we were in the sack together, and he said, “I didn’t realize I was at the doctor’s office.” I think it was an instant turn-off for him. (Although, maybe he wanted to role play doctor and didn’t have the ba-, I mean testicles, to be blunt about it.)
It is a turn-off, but I still think you should know the parts of your lady because not knowing is similar to when your girl looks under the hood of her car and says:
“The box thing is smoking, and this one thinga majiggy looks cracked, and is that schmalpy thing supposed to be oily?”
You say: “The … the schmalpy thing?”
She says: “Yea, it’s kind of like all schmalpy and shmooshy shaped.”
You say: “That’s not even a … Oh, my god, we can’t do this over the phone. Which interstate marker are you at?”
She says: “Well … there’s a fence over there. Oh, there’s also a tree.”
Not knowing the real names of things makes you seem stupid.
So let’s start the learning.
The challenge here for me is trying to explain female body parts to you without showing pictures. My site isn’t about nude pictures or porn, and I can’t find any tasteful free medical pictures, so we’re going to be using that ol’ imagination of yours. You know what a naked woman’s body looks like, so picture it, and start mentally drawing arrows with labels to all the different parts I mention below.
Let’s start with the BOOBS
Technical term: Breasts. To be even more technical: Those are mammary glands.
You all know what the nipple refers to, and that is that pointy part of the breast. That dark circle around the nipple is called the areola. Obviously, men have nipples and areola’s too, although men’s aren’t usually as large as women’s. As you are aware, the point of breasts is to feed babies, so do you want to know why men have nipples at all? You’re not feeding babies, so why are they there? Here’s a link to a quick and accurate explanation. Basically, you started off as a woman. 🙂
Despite mammary glands being all about baby feeding, they are also a very, very erogenous zone for women. Very. Good thing too, since men seem to love them in the same way.
What is the vagina?
“Vagina” is a technical term, but most people use it wrong. It seems “pussy” and “vagina” mean the same thing to the masses. Technically, the vagina is the inside canal of a woman. It’s that area after the vaginal opening but before the cervix.
Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves. We’ll start on the outside and work our way in.
What is the vulva?
Hint: It is not a Swedish car. It is the outside. It comprises everything on the outside. If you are fingering her down there, but you are not going inside the vaginal opening, you are touching her vulva. Everything between her thighs that you can touch is part of her vulva, with the only exception being her anus.
So what are the parts of the vulva? This part can get pretty complex, and I don’t want to lose you, so I’m going to take it slow.
There’s the pubic mound, mons pubis, which is in the front, where most of her pubic hair grows. Below that, along the sides, is the labia majora, or outer lips. I’m talking about those outer folds of skin. Between those outer lips are the inner lips, labia minora, and where those two inner lips connect at the top is the clitoral hood. You will find the clitoris connected right beneath that hood. Dun, dun, da, dunn. You were searching for that, weren’t you? You heard the clit’s pretty important?
I often call my clit my button. You work my button the right way, and I will scream with delight but don’t mash my button like you would on a video game controller, or you will feel my hand guiding you away from that area. It’s very sensitive.
However, the clitoris itself is much larger and more complex than just that little pea sized bump.
So let’s re-hash what we have learned about the vulva so far using this crude drawing that challenged my MS paint skills.
What I drew there and labeled as the clitoris, is not the entire clitoris. That little button part is beneath the hood at the top of the vulva and it’s technically just the glans, the outer part of the clitoris.
So Where is the Clit?
The rest of the clitoris is internal and shaped like a wishbone. The glans is just the tip top of it. The legs of the wishbone aren’t visible because they are, again, internal. The technical term for these internal parts are the corpus cavernosum clitoridis, the crus, and the vestibular bulbs, but they’re all part of the clitoris so you can call it a clitoris. A woman’s clitoris will become hard (full of blood) just like a man’s penis.
So this is the problem with most female genitalia diagrams that you come across. So much of the clitoris runs much deeper than that little knob (glans) that you can see. Think of the glans as the tip of the iceberg. The majority of the ice is beneath the surface.
Wikipedia has a diagram of the internal stuff, but like all internal organ diagrams, those pictures can look pretty alien. It doesn’t help that we’re not used to seeing pictures like that. We see a picture of our colon and we know exactly what it is despite never seeing that organ in real life, but we see internal pictures of the clitoris, and we’re all like, “What?” They’re not teaching this stuff enough in school. I don’t remember seeing a picture of the internal clitoris even when I took anatomy courses in college!
Some people say the reason it isn’t studied more is because it’s an organ whose only function is pleasure. It doesn’t pee. It doesn’t help with childbirth. It’s purely a female pleasure organ, unlike the penis which is a jack of all trades.
When the majority of men and women hear the word clitoris, they think of that little button, the glans, that I drew above. But since that’s only a part of it, the good news is, when you massage other parts of the vulva, like the outer lips, you are also indirectly massaging parts of the internal clitoris which will engorge with blood when they are stimulated similar to how a penis engorges.
I know you’re thinking I just made the clitoris so much more confusing for you, but think of it this way, you now know you don’t have to focus so much attention on that little sensitive button. You can massage, tickle, rub, vary pressure, and play with the entire vulva and know that you’re turning on your woman because the entire clitoris is much larger than you thought. Don’t make the mistake of putting all your focus on the glans. The glans is just the tip top part of the erectile tissue, tissue that flows down all around her vaginal entrance. Sure, rub around and over the glans, but also massage along the sides of the vaginal opening.
Back to my vulva drawing. (Having drawn this, I now see why people call it a flesh tuxedo.)
Female Body Parts Continued
So we got the glans. Then there’s the urethral opening, her pee hole, which is very small, and then the vaginal opening. Then we have that stretch of skin, the perineum, between her vaginal opening and her anus. (Men also have a perineum between their testicles and anus.) And then the anus. If you want to see a much better, less lopsided diagram of the vulva, type it into a google search. It’s not that I want you to navigate away from my site; it’s just that there are many, many better diagrams than this out there. My MS Paint skills leave a lot to be desired.
What about the G spot, you ask? Where is the G spot? The G spot is located at the front wall of her vagina. It’s internal, and since we’re talking technical terms here, the G spot is the Grafernberg spot. Oh, baby. Now there’s a sexy word for when you’re playing doctor. “I want you to stick your penis inside my vaginal opening and rub it against my Grafernberg spot.” I’m wet already.
Past the vagina is the cervix and then we get into the uterus, and we’ve now gone into purely reproductive territory, so I’ll stop here.
Knowledge is power, my friend. This stuff may not sound sexy to you. You’re probably not going to jump into bed with a woman and start talking about her glans and her labia minora, but it doesn’t hurt to know the technical terms, and at the very least, if you happen to be at a party and hear a woman mention her vulva, you won’t jump into the conversation with car talk.